Flashbacks, discussion article.......  Use the highlighted questions to read the parts relevant to you and if you want to take part in commenting click the link at the end of the article to take you to the ongoing discussion.

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Flashbacks are a distressing symptom for many survivors of sexual abuse. A flashback happens when a memory of a traumatic event unexpectedly comes into the mind. It can be a visual, auditory or body memory. For some the flashback is a replay of the emotions that occurred during the trauma. Flashbacks can happen at any time even when you are awake and in daylight. For some there seems to be a close link between dreaming and then waking with a flashback. Each person’s experience is there own so there is no set of rules as to how or when flashbacks might occur. Because flashbacks can happen so suddenly they can be very disturbing and intrusive, sometimes repetitive.  For someone who has been sexually abused a flashback can re-create feelings of helplessness experienced during the abuse. Learning what flashbacks are, what might trigger them for you and ways to cope with the distress is an important self-help strategy.  

·        What does ‘visual flashback’ mean?

A visual flashback is when a visual image of a past event ‘flashes’ into the mind. It may be a complete image or it can often be part of an image. For some flashbacks can seem like pieces of a jigsaw slowly fitting to make a whole picture. Others only ever see part images or images where most is dark and just part visible.

·        What is an ‘auditory’ flashback?

This is the same kind of thing as a visual flashback except that it involves sound. A person may hear a noise that is a recall of a sound that happened during a traumatising event. For example one survivor has spoken of being woken up with loud knocking on the door. Still hearing the sound upon waking after investigation there has been nobody knocking on the door. Later the survivor realises that the traumatic abuse would take place after the abuser had been knocking on the door.

·        How can there be such a thing as a ‘body-memory’ ?

Memories are partially stored at a cellular level within the body. For many survivors there will be times when they may physically experience the pain/sensations that occurred during the abuse. This can be particularly distressing because our bodies are made to react to certain stimulation and a survivor may find themselves experiencing sexual feelings because that occurred during abuse.

·        How can I believe that an extreme emotion could be a flashback?

A small child was getting onto a bus one day and put one foot on the step, the bus drove away too soon leaving the child frightened and hurt on the pavement. Now the grown child finds that every time their adult self tries to get onto a bus they are overcome with shaking. The fear is being re-experienced even though the adult self knows that they are able to alight a bus quickly with no problem. The same thing can happen to a survivor. Walking down a street a profile of a person resembling the perpetrator is seen (not necessarily consciously) and the shaking begins, maybe even moving into a panic attack.

·        What does ‘to trigger’ a flashback mean?

Often something specific can be the incident that causes the flashback to happen. It may be that the onset of the darkness in the evening causes deep feelings of fear. These may be accompanied by visual flashbacks relating to abuse taking place in darkness. It may be a sound, or seeing someone similar to the abuser can initiate the flashback. Certain times of year for some survivors are very ‘triggering’ because the abuse took place then, i.e. Christmas….

·        What can I do to stop the flashbacks?

Flashbacks are stored memories that have not been processed because of their traumatic nature. Therapy/counselling is a good start to dealing with the flashbacks. Memories can be integrated properly so that the emotions attached are felt and understood. Usually as the therapy progresses so the flashbacks become less intense, for many they will almost disappear.  E.M.D.R. is a therapy that can help with the distressing intrusive nature of flashbacks. This is a specialised therapy and it is important to make sure your counsellor is appropriately trained. See the link below to find out more about this.

·        How can I cope when a flashback occurs?

All flashbacks relating to past sexual abuse are distressing and there is no ‘quick fix’.  Learning to understand what is happening and why is the first step to self-help. This reduces the fear and panic. Each survivor will have their own ways of ‘grounding’ themselves during a flashback. For some it may be holding an object that has good memories and trying to recall those. Others may choose to let the flashback come and flood their being just counting and holding onto the fact that it will pass. It may be that putting on particular music eases the distress. Walking is often a good course of action as it activates enzymes that help with mood swings. In Shetland at this time of year that may not be very practical so using a sports centre or dancing to music at home might be an alternative. The important thing is that YOU as the survivor look for ways that are helpful to you. Learning to recognise what triggers a flashback for you can be helpful. Writing about what you are experiencing is often helpful, later next year there will be a discussion article about journal writing. If you have found ways that help you through the flashbacks please join the discussion page and share with others if you feel able. Remember you do not have to give a name, just send your thoughts and comments.

·        Why do the flashbacks make me feel the need to self-harm?

Flashbacks of sexual abuse are actually memories of an intrusive and emotionally painful experience. When the flashbacks are coming often some survivors feel the need for control over the emotional pain they may be feeling. Self-harm is a coping strategy that is common for survivors but not a positive coping mechanism. Sexual abuse can make the victim feel ashamed, dirty, and unlovable.  Some survivors use self harm as an 'anti-dote' to these feelings. Others use self-harm to try and cope with emotional pain. If you feel that you need help with self harm issues then look at the links on the links page. There will be an article on self-harm issues during next year. 
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