The subject of childhood sexual abuse is becoming much easier to talk about, people are finding it easier to listen nowadays compared to, say, 20 years ago. Sadly, what is still difficult to be heard is the subject of women who sexual abuse children, in particular, mothers who sexually abuse their own children. My mother and father both sexually abused me. Once I began to speak out about it, I soon discovered that it is definitely NOT okay to make the statement "my mother sexually abused me". People just don't seem to be able to tolerate that. Not surprisingly, this has seriously affected me. It's hard enough living with the knowledge that my parents did this to me, but having people tell me that it's not possible for a woman to sexually abuse a child, is torment. Not having this acknowledged interfered with my own mothering skills. I could not touch my 2 little girls for fear that I had inherited the ability to abuse my own children. I was scared that I would do something I thought was okay but which was actually abusive. So, I protected them from myself by neglecting them. People were quick to realise that I was neglecting them but refused to listen to my fears. With hindsight I realise that my fear was actually the protection. There is plenty more I would like to add here but I think this is enough for now.

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